michael jackson. :(

So everyone is talking about michael jackson.. its a pretty sad situation.. a lot of people have mixed feelings about his death but i just think people believe everything the media tells them, i think he has made some mistakes in life just like everyone else but i would never be "happy" about anyones death. i just think he was misunderstood.. because of the media.. of course. well i saw his music video the other day and the song is called earth song.. i believe this music video shows the real michael jackson.. a guy who loved peace.. like me! :) <3
watch the music video it really does have a good message and i think everyone should see this. it gives me chills.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acPvmXJrrek&feature=player_embedded

one love. <3

next two months.

I havent done a blog in while.. nothing much as happened to blog about.

Next weekend is the taylorsville dayzz! im soooo excited. i cant wait. i love fireworks and the fireworks in t-ville dayz are awesome they are really the best fireworks all year... even the parks on the 4th dont compare to these. they have never dissapointed! :) We are also having a bbq before we go over there. its always fun to have the family over for dinner.

We are having a bbq and fireworks on the 6th of july as well!.. that should be fun because its just with close friends and its going to be the day i see don for the first time! The big party for don is on the 17th and that is going to be huge! tonz of pictures and dancing for sure!!! :) yay! hopefully everything goes as planned!

The next two months should be awesome!

one love. <3

some people i want to thank..

I have been thinking latley about everyone and i know im not a very open person.. thats why i have so much to say in blogs because its pretty much the only way i express myself.. but i think shea is my inspiration for this blog. She is going through a hard time and i was thinking about writing her a letter but then i thought about how i need to tell everyone how i feel.. so here it is..
I honestly dont think i would be able to survive with out these people in my life. they make my life worth living!.. I will start with shea since i was supposed to write her a letter anyways..


shea: Your AmAzInG i am so glad your apart of this family now, we clicked immediatly. I have so much to learn from you and like i have told you already.. i am keeping my ears open because im always ready to hear what you have to teach me. You instantly jumped into that sister position and help me out with so much. I know i can go to your for anything. but.. i need you to know that you can come to me for anything also., I am always here if you need to talk about anything or just need a girls night. I am always up for a girls night! I am just a call away okay! love you! thanks for everything!


my mom: wow i dont even know where to begin with my mom.. your my best friend and always will be. I can hang out with you anytime and be perfectly content with life. you are my savior with everything from needing help opening something to when im horribly sick you are always right there and helping me feel better. I want to be just like you when i grow up.. but i dont think thats possible there is no one like you. love you. thanks for everything!


Kenzie: Kenzie your like a sister to me we are sisters and best friends. even if were not together everyday anymore is okay.. we will still always be close and i will always be here for you anytime.. but im sure you already know this. We are starting to grow up and we now realizing that growing up means developing our own lives.. and because of this we arent together that much anymore but like i said its okay.. family will always be here no matter what. you will always be my #1.


Billy: your the only one that can make me laugh when im having a horrible day. i can be pissed at everyone and you will make me laugh.. you make it impossible to be mad at you. You are an extremely fun and happy guy that lives life to the fullest. I wish everyday that i could be more like you.. i think we would all be better of with a little billy in us! You are the only one that asks whats wrong (even though you say it like "whats your problem?") as least you ask and trust me i notice. thanks!


Dad: you are a caring guy that always wants the best for your family and friends. If im in trouble your the first person i call.. i can always count on you being there for me to pull me out of trouble.. even when its not the most fun job. your still there. thanks!


jen: You for sure play the "big sister role". you are always trying to stop me from doing something stupid, you always tell me like it is and i respect that, and you have made your mistakes in your past as well as anyone else.. the only difference is you try and help me to learn from then so i dont have to go through it. Your also an amazing mom.. like we all already knew. thanks!


Ammon: I am glad that you married into the family as well. You fit in great with the family and its good to have someone i can go to that will know the answer to my questions.. (no offense to anyone else) ammon is just really smart.. both book smart and street smart. you know everything its crazy but cool. thanks for everything.. even giving us lia :)


Tiff and Kolbie: you are both fun loving people, i know that if i ever need a break i can come to both of you and have a blast. But on the more serious side i can come to either of you for advise also. I tell tiff almost everything and you always help me out. and kolbie.. you make fun of me alot but i learn to laugh at myself. if i didnt learn that.. i would go insane trying to be perfect for everyone. thanks!


Bailee, alex, cory and stacey: You guys are all so fun and a very active family. I can only hope to experiance all that you guys have experianced in your lives and its only the beginning. I better start going.


Anjada and audrey: wow you girls are awesome. Your not affraid to be yourself.. and your not walking around on egg shells everyday trying to please everyone else. I have a lot to learn from you both. I need to stop worrying about pleasing everyone else and learn that sometimes its good to just make yourself happy for once. we need a cousin day. love you both!


And last but not least: the grandparents: I see you all working so hard every day to keep the family going and working so hard to make everything perfect. I love spending time with both sides of my family and everything is always perfect. Holidays are amazing and i owe my thanks to the grandparents for working so hard and for keeping traditions alive. i love you all so much! <3

thanks to everyone for everything you do for me every day. i think about you all everyday of my life and i work and dream big to someday make you all proud. hopefully if i become big and famous lets all go to hawaii! i promise we will do it and im not just saying that. you can hold me to it! i love you all so much. thanks for everything. muah! <3

Here are the Rules:

1. Mention the person who tagged you
2. Complete the list of 8's
3. Tag 8 other people to play and let them know they are tagged!
4. Have a bit of fun!


8 things I am looking forward to:
1.finishing my room
2.A vacation
3.Taylorsville dayz
4.Acting
5.Going to college
6.zumba
7.loosing weight
8.going to jeff's cabin


8 things I did yesterday:
1.worked
2.played on the computer
3.played with baby lia
4.ate dinner with the fam.
5.watched a movie with the fam.
6.updated my blog
7.talked to don
8.slept


8 things I wish I could do:
1.Travel the world
2.Be and actor
3.Be a singer
4.Travel the world
5.Live in a mansion
6.Have a cabin in the moutains
7.Have a beach house in the florida keys
8.Be happy and live life to the fullest.

8 Shows I watch:
1.Family Guy
2.Simpsons
3.The office
4.King of the hill
5.wedding central
6.Travel shows
7.Rock of love
8.The hills


8 favorite fruits:
1.pineapple
2.oranges
3.rasberries
4.bananas
5.grapes
6.Watermelon
7.peaches
8.strawberries


8 Places I'd Like to Trave
l1.Egypt!
2.Greece
3.venice/rome
4.the moulin rouge
5.scotland
6.Ireland
7.Taj Mahal
8.Mexico

soo..

So i was just thinking.. and i found out that im pretty much a loser. :)

But im a happy loser. Some people might think that i have been distant or im not around much anymore.. truth is, im just going through a different phase in my life then other people. I dont drink at parties or smoke and some people make fun of me because of that.. i had my party phase in my life.. its over.. i only need one. who knows.. maybe i will party later on when i turn 21 and actually can, but right now im just not into it. I get offended when people think im stupid when i dont take a shot.. okay i can actually have a blast with out drinking i dont need any.. thanks though! jeeze.

it's just that most of my friends are into there party phase now when im done with mine. I get laughed at when i go to bed early, or i get tired before anyone else. I get yelled at when i leave too early at a party.. No offense but i dont need people treating me like that. I will be here for any of my friends or family when ever they need me no matter what.. if im not around much lately it doesn't mean i wont be there for anyone.. i'm just trying to get my own life together and it's kind of hard when your going through a different phase in your life then your friends are... talk about lonely.. i never hang out with anyone anymore. I might look fine on the outside but my life is a mess right now and i need to work on a lot of stuff for myself. dont get me wrong im not being dramatic right now.. im actually very happy. I'm looking on the brighter side of things.. the way i see it.. my life is coming together and im happy.. thats all that matters.. there are just a few things that need fixing and its all good. No one take this offensivley ( however you spell it ) I wasnt meaning for this blog to be rude.. i just want everyone to know why im not around much anymore and even though im not around i will always be here for anyone when ever they need me, im a phone call or e-mail or visit away. But one last thing.. family will always be there for you, friends on the other hand.. leave. If you dont know this then you obviously dont know who is there for you.

traveling

I was watching sisterhood of the traveling pants 2 today, i really like those movies and i love all four girls in the movies which isn't very often that happens. And I think blake lively is gorgeous, she is pretty and isn't a bi**h like that beezie megan fox. (oh by the way she is bi sexual).. just fyi. But as i was watching this i kept thinking how pretty greece is! it looks soooo beautiful and i would love to go there someday. and it just so happens its kinda by egypt!.. the number one place i want to vist. here are some places i want to travel: 1. egypt 2. greece 3. ireland 4. scotland 5. the Taj Mahal 6. moulin rouge 7. venice 8. rome. There are more places but this is the top 8. :).. dream big!

eww.

So im watching taboo with the parents right now and its an episode about trans gender. there is a guy on here... well a woman that changed into a man.. but he wansnt comfortable a woman so he wanted to change into a man so he did... but... he wants to have a kid!!! wtf!!! whatever.. i dont care about people changing, do whatever you want i honestly dont have anything to say about that but if your uncomfortable as a woman and you want to change into a man.. having kids is a party of being a woman! wtf dont people understand. you should not change into a man and get pregnant because you want to have kids... no. the kid is going to grow up being so tramatized! why are people so freakin selfish! im sorry but thats discusting and i will argue my point to anyone.




One thing i will say is that some men make better women the some real girls. :) its sad but true. im now watching men that change into women and its crazy how much they look like a real chick. wow.




anyways.. this is my blog for today.
one love <3

on a serious note..

Does anyone really truly know what they want? I mean some people know a few things they want in life and other things they just think they know what they want. I think there are two different kinds of wants in life, something you truly want and something you just want. One minute i think i know what i want and the next minute it changes.. i know im still young and things are bound to change in my life but it sucks because i will really have my mind set on something and a few days or months later it changes. Is it just me or does this happen to everyone.. i feel like i dont know what i want to do in life. I know some things i want, for example i know i want to act, i know i want to travel, i know i want to be independent, i want to live life to the fullest and i want to be in love and be loved back. It's easy to say thats what i want but its not that easy to do.. as we all know.. things come into the picture like my anxiety for one, that stops me from doing so much and makes me change my mind on a lot of stuff i want to do, i dont have much independence either, im always relying on my mom or other family members for everything and i cant travel if thats the case. I guess what im getting at is we think we know what we want but things get in the way that have more power over you and those things change our minds and hold us back from doing what we want to do. I'm pretty sure thats something that everyone can relate to. I don't feel lonely on that case. But i think when we find something that we truly want in life, nothing can hold us back, not anxiety, not independence.. nothing.. nothing is big enough to hold you back from this one thing.. but what is it? when will i know?.. There are so many questions that only god knows.. I can only hope that this will come to me sooner then later so i can put aside everything that i have always let hold me back and learn from it.. learn that i dont have to let certain things control my life anymore. again.. its a lot harder done then said. People like to try and give me advise on this kind of stuff but they dont realize its pretty hard.
anyways.. this was my venting for the today. I always say that i have learned so much in the past two years and i have.. but i also know that i have so much more to learn as well. I think this is one of the biggest things in life that i was meant to learn and get passed. I post things like this so other people know that there not the only ones that have it "bad". It could be so much worse.. i have already learned this.. i'm trying to have other people learn this now.