life right now

My life right now is a little awkward.
1. Im 21 now and on my birthday no one really came and those who did were late and only stayed like an hour.
2. Im in love with someone who doesnt want to be with me.
3. My family thinks i hate them and im a bitch and dont care about anyone anymore
4. I hate my job, i get up at 5 and work this stupid job and im so tired for the rest of the day that i dont do anything i come home and take a nap, eat dinner, talk to don and sleep. I feel like im waisting my life. Im not doing anything i love anymore. this job is killing me and i cant find a new one. Im so frustrated that i take it out on everyone else. and i get angry alot. im not myself.
5. I have lost my friends and family, my family is always there for me but i feel like i have lost everyone.
6. I have so many things i want to do in my life and im a slave to my bills i need to keep my job and if i have my job i cant do anything else. Im just watching everything pass me by.

The only thing thats keeping me going right now is don, really. I have noticed a big difference in my attitude and my life since we have started talking again. He makes me laugh and makes me think of my future and how much i want to keep up a good life, being happy, how i used to be. We do have our tough times and it sucks really bad when we fight but i love him alot and always will. He is always there for me and loves me for who i am and that means the world to me. He is truly amazing. I will be waiting for him to come back around and remember who he really is. He is the only thing i need, if i have him im good. :)

so pretty much every post that i have done on here can be like... erased. just forget everything that was said in my previous posts. they were rediculous..
im working as a independent travel agent. its pretty fun. and im working at a tanning salon on the side.. we will see how long that lasts because i only work like 4 days a week and thats dumb.
other then that i havent been up to much. just hanging out with friends and going to TONS of hockey games! the season is over now.. sadly.. :( but they were soooo much fun! i will for sure be going to almost every game next season! i cant wait until october!
but i watch all the jazz games! and i hope to go to alot of baseball games this season to! totally into sports right now.
I turn 21 in november!!! super stoked!!! i have no idea what im going to do but its going to be big! i will be on a cruise when i actually turn 21 but when i come back i will be partying it up for a while! bliss here i come!

another update....

I think the only things i write on here are updates on whats been going on.

Soooo... here i go again.. today i had a pin up girl photoshoot for bailees school, it was so much fun. the photographer said it went awesome and i am a natural in front of the camera, it was great, bay and her friend did my hair and make up and i wore some thigh highs and heels then some sparkely shorts with a pink bra and a jacket over that. it ended up really cute. I cant wait to see the pictures.

Don comes on i think... feb. 6th... and we are HOPEFULLY staying at the anniversary inn for valentines!! im stoked! its going to be amazing! it kind of all depends on if i have money for it or not. :(.... since i did "quit" my job.

March 4th we are leaving to las vegas, staying the night there and then leaving the next morning for san diego for our cruise! ahhhhh sooooooo super excited. I already have three dresses, tons of sunglasses, some jewlery and my passport. Next up is my swimsuit! I saw a super cute one at target that i cant wait to pick up! I have been tanning and everything for this trip. Mexico here i come!! :)

September we are going to san diego again but were staying there at a beach house we rented out! We are going to be right on the beach partying it up all night! yessssss! We are also going to... whatever its called... ( where that whale shamu is ) and im going to swim with the baluga whales!!!!!! Its going to be crazy awesome.

November we are either going on another cruise with my other side of the family or... im going to vegas for my 21st birthday! I cant believe i am going to be 21 this year! its will be soooo much fun. i just wish kenz and bay were 21 so they could come with me! its sad. but shea said she will come.. hopefully. that would be cool. party it up with my sis.

Last but not least... at the beginning of 2011 i will begin planning my wedding. :) slowly... but still planning. we will be getting married 01/01/2012. new years day! <3 <3 <3 cant wait.

There is so much going on this year and next year its a little over whelming. lol. but i can keep up! it will be great!

one love <3

2010

So its a new year!..
My new years resolution is 2 things: stop/get better at not saying the lords name in vain, and loose some weight/get toned. I'm actually very close to the weight i should be but i want to be toned so im happy with my body. Plus with this cruise coming up in march i dont want to look fat and gross :)

As most people already know.. im getting married. Not for a while, it will be in January of 2012. So lets hope the world doesnt end ;) lol.
I am sooooo happy to be getting married to don and im so excited. I cant wait to plan our lives together. Planning the wedding will be so much fun! We already have alot of things planned out because we have been talking about it for a long time before he proposed. I know where i want it, the colors, the theme, my bridesmaids and maid of honor, the places i want to shop for dresses etc...
Are plan: Don will be getting out of the navy in september 2011! Then he will be moving straight into my house and we will live in my parents basement while we plan the wedding and while he goes to the U for school. Then in January we will get married and that night stay at either the cottage at la callie or a suite in the grand america, live in the basement for a while as we save money for a house and hopefully get a house either in sandy, south jordan or west jordan later on.
Don and I have lots of plans and I really hope everything goes smoothly because we are so excited about our plans and starting our lives together. I cant wait!!

As for 2010... i hope its just another great year.. i know it will be because there are lots of plans! cruise in march, beach house vacation in september, vegas and a cruise in november, christmas, and then 2011. yessss!!!!

<3

7 months and counting

Me and my lovey have been together for about 7 months now! I cant even believe its been that long.. it has gone by soooo fast. It doesnt seem that long at all. But it feels great! We are giving eachother promise rings for christmas and i cant wait to wear his ring. I love him. :)
Facts about Don:
Favorite team: Broncos
Favorite player: Bailey
Favorite color: green
Favorite holiday: christmas
Favorite music: oldies and christmas :)
Favorite dessert: cheesecake
Favorite show: desperate housewives.. (yeaaaa...)
Favorite movie: stand by me
Favorite food: steak and mexican food
Favorite pass time: going to the gym and listening to music

I know everything about him but im not about to write it all down. lol.
Anyway.. he is coming into town for christmas and im soo excited. i cant wait. lots of plans together!

yay for christmas time!!
<3

Holidays.

Its almost christmas and we have lots of plans this month! Very exciting.
Tomorrow is gingerbread house night the family is coming over for tacos and we are all decorating our own gingerbread house... well my mom got us a train. Then this weekend im finishing up my christmas shopping! almost done already. Then the 18th is the family christmas party on my moms side. My grandma is coming in town and we are having dinner and an ornamant (sp) exchange. The 21st is the christmas sing a long at the "energy solutions arena".. i love it. The 22nd is a party at work. then on christmas eve don comes in town!!!!!... im only working half a day... and were having a christmas eve party at my house with my dads side of the family and opening presents. Then christmas!!!! I get so see don that night and we are giving eachother our presents..and then that monday don and i are having a date night :) he is coming over and i am making him dinner and we are watching a movie.
On new years eve we are having another party at my house and having lots of food and playing games and watching the ball drop and don will hopefully be there to! yay for new years kiss!
After the holidays the only other thing im looking forward to would be our cruise to mexico in march! yesss! very excited but a little nervous. im also upset that kenz isnt coming i wish she was but we have san diego in september!! Don cant go to that anymore because he will be on deployment. :( sad. i wish he could come to that. but big plans when he gets off!! <3

anyway... happy holidays.
<3

thanksgiving

yessssss its thanksgiving. im excited for the food but im on a hardcore diet so i cant eat that much at all. :(
anyway.. stuff im thankful for:
my family, my friends, everyone who has influenced my life for the better, a home, my dogs, all the opportunities i have been given in my life, my job in this rough time, my car, everyones health, movies, music, the movies and people who have inspired me to act, the ability to act; sing; and dance, for the experiances in my life that have made me who i am today, for a close relationship with my family, for the opportunity to pray to give thanks or ask for help, and for my counrty.
And thank you to my boyfriend and the rest of the military who are fighting for our county and are not able to spend thanksgiving with their families.

i hope everyone has a good thanksgiving. <3
love you all. :)